Change Your Habit

To be fair, your brain certainly loves habits. Why? Because they’re a repetition of certain behaviors over time. The more you repeat them, the more your brain is used to them. Chances are that you’re already practicing many habits every day, even if you’re not aware of it.

Scrolling through Tik Tok videos on your phone as soon as you wake up.

Brushing your teeth from top to bottom, or left to right.

Preparing the same type of breakfast each morning.

Choosing your favorite spices to add to a meal.

Also that bad habit you have when you’re stressed — biting your nails, lighting a cigarette, taking a second beer out of the fridge, helping yourself to more potato chips, staying up half the night watching TV.

All of those behaviors — whether you think they’re good or bad — are habits.

When you start practicing a new habit you believe to be good for you, your brain resists. It's as if it’s telling you: Why are you getting up so early? We like it here in this warm bed! Why don’t you have another piece of cake? It tastes so good and you deserve it after working so hard this week. Why go to bed now? The couch feels comfortable and this show is really fun to watch!

To overcompensate for this brain resistance, you come up with different ways to make your habit stick. You start to be extra hard on yourself by setting goals that are too unrealistic, too much, too soon. I have to lose 10 pounds in one month. I want to read one book a day for the rest of the year. I have to quit smoking right now. I have to start getting up at 5 a.m.

And what happens next? You start the new habit and feel good about it for a while because the motivation kicks in. But your brain is still stuck in its ways and that’s why you feel discomfort as you’re repeating the new behavior. Sooner or later, your brain sends a signal — we’ve had enough! One morning you don’t have any motivation to get up early and go for that run. You start berating yourself at first, then go back to your usual, comfortable routine of sleeping in. And the new habit disappears.

If you want to get your brain on board with practicing a new good habit, I suggest the following:

Don’t make the change too obvious. Don’t be too demanding or too ambitious, or too unrealistic at the very beginning.

Instead:

👉🏽 Keep it simple.

In fact, so simple that all you should do is start with tiny steps. Do a mini-workout at home for 10 minutes this month. Find a breakfast idea that’s healthy and simple to execute in 5 minutes or less. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual to give yourself time to de-stress and relax with a good book, even if that means reading ten pages.

👉🏽 Practice early in the day.

We all have a finite amount of willpower that takes us through the day, so if you want to focus on your top priority — your new habit — work on it early. Practice a new skill before lunchtime while you’re still energized and focused. If you’re focused on creativity, practice sketching or painting or writing for one hour. Don’t leave these activities for late at night when you might feel exhausted from the day.

👉🏽 Repeat.

Why? If you just practice it once or twice a week, it’s less likely you will make any habit stick. Your brain will start thinking this is an optional activity, not a necessary one. You’ll get better results if you start doing it more frequently so you brain gets accustomed to it and eventually adopts the new behavior as a regular part of the day. How can you do this? Schedule it in a daily planner or add it to your mobile phone monthly calendar, then set a notification to remind you an hour or two ahead of time when to start.

👉🏽 Think of your new habit as a choice, not a chore.

When you start doing something different, always ask yourself, Why am I doing this? What will this new behavior afford me? It’s important to stay connected to the initial reason for picking the new habit. Maybe you want to work out to improve your health and lose weight. Or maybe you want to work on creative skills like bread-making or playing guitar. Think about how you’ll feel after you’ve succeeded in making this habit a part of your everyday life. Choosing a positive behavior will make you feel stronger, more powerful, and more proactive.

👉🏽 Resist the urge to quit.

The writer Seth Godin said, Never quit something with great long-term potential just because you can't deal with the stress of the moment. It’s important to stop for a minute and be aware of the stress you’re feeling and where it’s coming from. If keeping a new habit is stressing you out, figure out why. It’s not easy to eat healthy meals if your housemates binge on pizza every night. Or, it’s tough to accept that you’re not the fittest, most productive, or well-read person in your circle of friends. That’s OK. Fight the urge to give up when things get tough. Know the difference between what feels hard right now and what's good for you in the long run. And if you have a bad day, be patient with yourself. Tom orrow, get after it again and keep moving forward. Day after day.